google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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