Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
