Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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