I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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