When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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