I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
