Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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