If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
