she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
home. puking in laundry basket.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
