i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
