we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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