So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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