While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
