My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
