I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
