party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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