i just had sex bonerless
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize