Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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