I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
