I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize