I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My vagina is officially offended.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize