Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
please come you make the beer taste better
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Randomize
