Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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