shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
