meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
