I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he shaved USA in his pubs
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
