the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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