you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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