I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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