What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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