But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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