i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."