I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore