if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
my god I love twenty year old dicks