So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
ttyl tear gas
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.