I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
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I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it