So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
