if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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