i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
