I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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