2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
