Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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