Swine flu. Run for my life!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
