dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
