Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize