I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
