I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
