Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
