so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
