Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dicks are not precious.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
