Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
