JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
