Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
PANTIES FOUND
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