I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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