Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
