Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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