Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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