You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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