Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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