he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
