The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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