i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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