Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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