woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
smell my finger.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
