So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
