I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
