In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i need some magic done to my vagina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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