i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
