I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize