I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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