you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
