the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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