For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I smell like Dick and happiness
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize