Dude my mom stole all your condoms
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
time to smoke my breakfast
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
