well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
